Are relationships between older women and younger men doomed? Or can they work?
Age should not be a barrier to love and companionship. There is no reason why a relationship between an older woman and younger man cannot work long term, provided both partners are committed and willing to put in the work.
As older woman-younger man relationships have become more common, especially on social media, people’s perceptions have changed and there is less judgement surrounding this type of age gap. Dynamics are similar to that of older man-younger woman relationships, which are more common and less criticized.
Why some older women like younger men
- Older women can be attracted to younger men because they are in peak physical condition and are a natural fit for an energetic lifestyle.
- Women who have remained motivated to take care of their health and stay fit could want to date a man who is a decade younger but looks almost their age.
- Because of her greater relationship experience, an older woman may feel more capable of handling the ups and downs of a relationship, especially if she has been able to transform her insecurities into learning experiences for both her and her young lover
- Because she has more experience in the bedroom, she may feel she can mold him into exactly the kind of lover she wants and have her ideal sex life.
- Dating often gets progressively difficult for women as they age. Many older women date younger guys simply because most men of their age are either married, in a relationship, or not interested in dating.
- Older women are often financially stable and independent than their younger male partners. There may be an exciting thrill of taking the lead and being able to control financial matters, such as buying her younger lover gifts, taking him out on dates, and even taking him shopping.
- Younger men in their 20s have fewer things to worry about, which can make them more fun-loving and spontaneous.
- An older woman may look forward to dating a younger man because it feeds her ego and self-esteem.
- An older woman may have a nurturing nature, which the young man fulfills.
Why some younger men like older women
- Younger men may feel like there is so much to learn from older women because they are wiser and better at coping with difficult situations in life.
- Older women tend to be more self-assured and self-confident, and not just focused on starting a family. This may be especially attractive to ambitious young men who want to expand themselves intellectually.
- Young men often respect and admire the hard work, dedication, and persistence an older woman has put in to rise in the ranks of her profession or career.
- Younger men may want to see themselves as the hero, someone his partner genuinely wants and needs to have around.
- The attention of an older woman may boost their confidence and self-esteem.
- They may subconsciously crave a mother figure or parental figure in their life.
When the relationship can work
Any relationship between two people has its challenges, and older woman-younger man relationships are no different. At times, the gap in mindsets, financial security, goals, experience etc. that comes with May-December romances can be overwhelming, both in the bedroom and in daily life.
However, people fall in love with a person, not their age. As long as you are in love and for the right reasons, your relationship can work.
Medically Reviewed on 7/9/2021
Warren CAB. Older Women, Younger Men: Self and Stigma in Age-Discrepant Relationships. Clin Socio Rev. 1996;14(1): 62-86. https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/56684281.pdf