6 of Your Most Embarrassing Sex Questions Answered

1. I can only have an orgasm when I’m alone. Is there something wrong with me?

No, there’s nothing wrong with you. 

Being unable to have an orgasm during sex could be physical or mental issue. Many women don’t orgasm during sex because the clitoris isn’t being stimulated. This can be fixed with a change in position or paying extra attention to your clitoris, either through foreplay or manual stimulation during sex. You can also tell your partner what you like or show them what you need to have an orgasm. 

You could also have something going on mentally. If you’re stressed or not connected to your partner for whatever reason, it may impact your ability to have an orgasm. Sometimes, these mental blocks won’t allow you to orgasm at all, but it’s normal and nothing to be concerned about.

2. Is sexting actually cheating?

Maybe.

There’s no hard and fast rule about what constitutes cheating. Infidelity depends on the couple. For some, sexting, cybersex, or anything that doesn’t involve touching is fine. For other couples, even having sex with other people is fine as long as there’s communication about it. That’s really the key: communication. Couples should talk about their expectations for fidelity and not take for granted that their partners know exactly what they believe cheating to be.

3. I’m straight but had a sex dream about someone of the same gender. Am I actually gay?

No, a sex dream doesn’t automatically change your orientation.

Dreams are complicated and can mean a lot of things, even sex dreams. If you’re not also having explicit sexual fantasies about or finding yourself attracted to people who are your gender, you’re not gay. You likely also aren’t bisexual, as the defining characteristic would be a romantic and/or sexual attraction to someone of your gender. 

4. What is squirting?

Squirting occurs when fluid is expelled from the vagina during orgasm. The fluid that’s excreted can be urine, prostatic secretions, or a combination of both. This phenomenon was long thought to be a myth, but studies have concluded that it can occur regularly for some people with vaginas. 

This is not the same thing as sexual incontinence, also called coital incontinence, in women. Sex puts pressure on the bladder, which can lead some women to lose control of their bladders during sex. 

5. Is foreplay really necessary?

Like the question about cheating, there’s no hard and fast rule about foreplay. Some people need extended foreplay sessions to prepare for sexual activity, while others don’t. The answer to this question will come from your partner. It can be an awkward subject to talk to a new partner about, but it’s an important conversation to have if you want to have a satisfying sexual relationship.

6. My partner watches porn. Should I be concerned?

This is a matter of perspective. If you’re against pornography on a moral or ethical level, this might be a problem for you. If you’re not comfortable with your partner consuming any porn whatsoever, you should communicate that. If you’re ok with them watching porn but are concerned about the amount of time they spend watching it, that should also be communicated. 

While communicating your feelings may not change your partner’s behavior with regard to pornography, they’ll at least know your thoughts on it. The best thing for you to do for your sex life is to communicate. Whether your partner is doing something you don’t love or you need them to do something differently, they’ll never know if you don’t tell them.